New year, new decade, new you, new love – Discovering the Secrets to Deeply Satisfying, Lasting Lesbian Love in Today’s World
by Barb Elgin
Wow, I’m still savoring my first oGL article, where I shared with you Portia De Rossi’s perspectives on how her relationship with Ellen DeGeneres has changed since they got married.
I don’t know about you but, as a single woman, I’m ready to experience some of that difference too! However, single ladies, we have some work to do first. We can’t be so ‘in love with love’ that we settle for any relationship, if long-term love is our goal. And, if you are in a relationship, you too can get more of what you want, but you’ve got to be willing to make some changes.
The good news is that it’s a new year, a new decade and a new you. That also means new love, for you! Even if you’ve been coupled for decades, your love can always renew itself. I can’t wait to talk with you about how you can do so!
Over the course of the next year, I will be reaching out to you in the hopes we will share many authentic, revealing discussions that inspire you (and your partner if you are coupled) to discover the secrets to making your love life flow!
Ready to discover the secrets to deeply satisfying, lasting lesbian love?
Whether you are single and dating or coupled for many years, you will find it supportive getting to know me and engaging with me in lively discussions exploring love, sex and romance, from a lesbian perspective. I promise if you genuinely experiment with what you discover from reading my articles and engaging in other opportunities to work and play with me, you will get (and keep) your love life going!
And, here’s another good reason to keep coming back here and reading what I have to share: chances are you don’t have enough time to ‘search for’ answers, particularly in today’s information overloaded world. In addition, it’s often difficult knowing which information is worth paying attention to and what to ignore anyway.
So, stop reinventing the wheel. When it comes to your love life, my focused passion for and study of the subject means I’ve already weeded through much of the latest and greatest information, ideas and concepts available to us today. Another way of saying it is as such: just because you find something on the web, that doesn’t mean it’s not crap!
I would also encourage you to challenge my knowledge and biases. I envision our relationship embodying an attitude of ‘beginner’s mind’ at all times.
In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few.
- Shunryu Suzuki
I believe this is a wise concept, especially when dealing with matters of the heart. As we learn together what makes love work for you, let’s hold “an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions…even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would.”
Going back to Portia De Rossi for a moment: None of us is privy to the private, inner workings of the De Rossi/DeGeneres bond. Ellen and Portia are still what you’d call a newly married couple. By traditional standards, De Rossi and DeGeneres haven’t even hit their ‘cotton’ anniversary yet, but as I write this they are either doing what it takes to keep their relationship strong or they aren’t. Aren’t you curious what you can do to protect the treasure that is your relationship?
Just like all couples, Ellen and Portia have the power to stick with it, even as ‘it’ changes. I truly hope Portia and Ellen are paying enough attention, on a regular basis, to do what it takes to keep their love satisfying and lasting.
Stay tuned!
Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is Coach Sappho: America’s Favorite Lesbian Love Coach and Matchmaker. Be sure to stop by www.coachsappho.com, pick up your FREE gifts as well as to learn about our exciting new singles club for lesbians and our community for lesbian couples.
© Copyright 2010, Barb Elgin. All Rights Reserved. Feel free to forward this article as long as attribution remains intact.
Disclaimer: The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.
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1. Wikipedia.org
2. What anniversary are you celebrating? 10/1/09. http://10thousandcouples.com/issue/october-2009/article/anniversary-matters