Losing Those First-Date Jitters
By Gena Hymowech Nothing is quite as frightening as the first date (ok, well, maybe a job interview ranks up there). Just the prospect of meeting someone new can turn even the calmest cat into a sweaty, shaking, stammering mess. So how can you combat your nerves, and show your date the real you? Try not to schedule the date for any time that you’re stressed. Don’t, for example, make a date in the middle of a work day. You won’t be in the right frame of mind. Also, do something relaxing before the date begins, like watching a comedy film; taking a nice, long hot bath; or having a small glass of wine. (If you’re going to take a bath, use lavender soap. The scent of lavender can be immensely calming and it’ll make you smell good too!) Stay away from anything that will increase your stress level, such as coffee; loud, pounding music; or conversation with your mother. Realize you’re not the only one who’s scared. If you think your date is all cool and collected, think again. She’s just as scared as you are, if not more so. Think about how you will help your date feel more at ease. Take the focus off your own nervousness, and soon you’ll forget you were even nervous in the first place. Try a practice date. If you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while you may forget how it goes, so ask a friend if you can go on a practice date or two with her. (You might want to get permission from her girlfriend first!) It won’t be the same as a real date, but it will help you try out your social skills. By the time you get to your date, you’ll be an old hand. If you have a chance to speak to or email the girl before the date begins, tell her you may be a little nervous on the first date. This way you don’t have to worry what she will think of you, if you do get jittery. Call a friend. Speak to one of your closest friends (maybe the one you had that practice date with) and tell her you’re really scared about your upcoming date. Not only will she help boost your self-esteem and downplay your fears, but just the act of talking to her will help quell any nervousness. Get involved with something while you’re waiting for her to arrive. Finish knitting that hat. Read the rest of that book. Play a game on the computer. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it distracts your mind. Attempt to schedule the date at a restaurant where you are a regular. Being in a place where people know you can make the date a more pleasant, less nerve-wracking experience. Consider making it a double date. This way, if you get too nervous, a good friend will be right there, ready to calm you. She can also aid in starting or maintaining a conversation, if you get stuck.