Dear Trish, How do I get it all? a husband, hot sex life, children and the white picket fence?
Dear Trish, I think I am ready to settle down and find the right partner but there are some issues in the back of my mind that scare me. Here’s the deal: Not only do I hope to find a man who is can commit to a monogamous relationship, but I really would like for him to be open to the possibility of adopting and raising children in our future. I want to be a husband and a father but I also want a hot, passionate love life that does not take a back seat to the family life. Is a lustfully never-ending romantic life in any way compatible with diapers, t-ball and the PTA? Call me Gary “WantItAll”, Chicago, IL Dear Mr. “WantItAll”, According to recent research reported at ScienceDaily.com (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090408145351.htm), children take a toll on the overall happiness and level of satisfaction in a marriage. While most marriages tend to become less satisfactory over time, according to this research marriages that involve children tend to become less satisfactory at a faster rate. Children are messy, demanding, needy, moody, expensive and rarely aware that you and your spouse have your needs for time, peace, gourmet meals, a fabulous home, something resembling good night’s sleep or any shred of romance in your life. “Science,” my friend, says that a lustfully never-ending romantic life is a bit of a long shot once you’re pushing Gary Junior in a pram down Castro street. While science can offer you little hope, Trish is bubbling over with optimism about your down-the-road dream man and family. You don’t fall madly in love with a statistic or scientific analysis my friend. You fall for a man. Choose the right man—someone healthy, happy and able to dig deep and do the work required for a great marriage that includes children. At the same time, you must also be the right man, recognizing that while the quantity of your lustfully luscious encounters may decrease as your nest fills up with baby birds, the quality can actually improve. The magical moments of raising a family together can far surpass the mess, financial burdens and lack of sleep you’ll experience. When your baby first smiles, laughs, or whispers “da da,” the two of you will melt into a conjugal state of bliss, regardless of how sleep deprived you may be. As you share the awe of your daughter’s first steps and first days of school with your man, or the uncertainty and dread of that first emergency room visit when your son gets a pebble stuck up his nose, you’ll develop a bond that goes deeper than anything either of you has ever experienced. Parent well together. Laugh often. Love always and the lustfully happy-ever-after can still be yours. Love and kisses, Trish